The average Dungeons & Dragons campaign is set in a world that is based on medieval Europe, with a smattering of other cultures thrown in for flavor. These worlds tend to be filled with the most popular creatures from mythology, with leprechauns, vampires, and medusas often sharing the same living space.
The creators of Dungeons & Dragons never put much thought into how the fantastical elements would change the world in comparison to our own. We see kingdoms and knights in the game because they are familiar elements in fantasy fiction, but would they still exist in a world that is filled with magic and monsters?
The setting of a Dungeons & Dragons campaign mainly exists as a series of set-pieces for the player to experience, which means that questions about how the existence of the supernatural would change society rarely come up.
The players have a tendency to point out the holes in the logic of each game world, which means that the dungeon master will either have to come up with an answer on the spot or shrug and tell the players not to take the game so seriously.
We are here today to look at the aspects of Dungeons & Dragons that don’t make sense, which includes both the reality of the game world and the rules themselves.
Here are the 20 Things About Dungeons & Dragons That Make No Sense!
The Demihumans Should Have Taken Over The World
The humans who inhabit the Dungeons & Dragons worlds have the same lifespan as the ones in real-life, though it’s possible for them to stave off a natural demise with the aid of magic.
The demihuman races (elves, dwarves, gnomes, and halflings) have a much longer life expectancy. Elves can live to the age of around 750, dwarves can live to around 350, gnomes can live to around 500, and halflings can live up to around 250.
You would think that the demihuman races would be the ones who rule the world, but they are usually presented as being weaker than the humans due to their inferior numbers. The reason why humans tend to outnumber the demihuman races is due to the fact that they breed a lot quicker.
The fact that the demihuman races can live so long should mean that they have more high-ranking characters among their numbers, as they have centuries in which to hone their craft.
The text usually bends over backward to come up with reasons why we don’t see more high-level demihumans, with the older editions actually enforcing level limits on non-human characters to explain why the world isn’t run by the long-lived races.
It’s entirely possible for a Dungeons & Dragons character to reach a high level in their chosen profession within the space of a year of adventuring. You would think that a lifespan of centuries would lead to their being more incredibly powerful demihumans, each with the ability and fame to control entire countries if they so chose.
Castles Would Be Useless
It’s common to see castles in the populated areas of a Dungeons & Dragons world. This is due to the fact that castles are closely associated with fantasy stories.
You will often see powerful figures living in castles, as they represent a symbol of both military might and wealth, which is why they are used as the domain of kings and queens.
Castles were created in real life to act as a defensive bulwark against invaders, which is something they were good at in doing, as a frontal assault on a castle was a bad idea, even if the opposing army vastly outnumbered the defenders.
The problem with using castles in a Dungeons & Dragons world is that the fantasy elements would make them all but useless. A castle is intended to prevent an assault from the ground, but there are plenty of ways to attack by air in Dungeons & Dragons.
It’s possible to acquire and breed flying mounts, such as griffons and wyverns, in order to create a fighting force that can just fly over high walls and iron gates. This is to say nothing of the numerous spells that grant the power of flight, such as fly, levitate, and air walk.
There are also a lot of spells that allow you to teleport a group of individuals, such as dimension door and teleport, which would allow you to easily bypass the castle’s defenses.
Filling Up A Six Second Round
The average round of combat is meant to take around six seconds. This is supposed to encompass the time it takes for a character to move (usually anywhere from twenty to thirty feet), as well as perform attacks with their weapon or cast a spell.
As the character becomes more powerful, this time limit makes less and less sense. A melee character will eventually gain the ability to attack several times in the same round, while mages can use the Quicken Spell feat to cast an extra spell during their turn.
The real problem with this timeframe comes from the fact that talking is defined as a free action.
This rule was put in place to stop arguments over whether characters could communicate their plans to each other while in the middle of combat. It also gave the dungeon master an excuse to think up a sufficiently wicked counter for the plan that the players were just shouting about on the battlefield.
The fact that a character can theoretically cast two spells, move their full movement speed, and still shout out orders and advice during combat means that you will be ignoring the six-second rule a lot by the end of the campaign.
Ballroom Combat
It’s dangerous to run away from your opponent in Dungeons & Dragons, as leaving their threatened area would give them a free attack of opportunity against you. You can perform the withdraw action, which allows you to move out of an enemy space without giving them free attacks, but you cannot do anything else that turn.
The problem with this mechanic is that you could also perform a five-foot step away from the enemy, which also wouldn’t provoke any attacks of opportunity.
This form of movement suddenly became the most popular action in the game, as it meant that you could avoid being punished for taking certain actions in melee combat (like casting a spell or drinking a potion) which would normally provoke an attack of opportunity.
The battlefields of the Dungeons & Dragons universe started resembling ballet performances, as knights and monsters took dainty steps away from each other in order to down a healing potion.
The five-foot step action does not appear in the latest edition of Dungeons & Dragons, which is due to the fact that most of the actions that used to provoke attacks of opportunity (like casting a spell or using a ranged weapon) no longer do so.
The Instant Peasant Postage System
When you enter combat in Dungeons & Dragons, you have to roll initiative in order to determine the order in which everyone gets to make their move. If your turn comes up first, then you can choose to ready an action instead of taking your turn.
Readying an action allows you to prepare an action in response to a predetermined trigger, such as an enemy casting a spell. In that case, your triggered action could be to throw something at that enemy in order to distract them and make them screw up the spell.
One of the most ridiculous methods of breaking the rules in Dungeons & Dragons involves abusing the readied action mechanic to pass an object through a line of hundreds of people in a matter of seconds.
If you gather up a few hundred people and make them stand in a line, you can pass an object to the first person and have it arrive at the last person in the line by the end of the round.
You can do this by making all of the people prepare a readied action to take the item when it enters within a five-foot radius. The readied actions will go off one after the other and the item will reach its destination within six seconds.
The Lack Of Faith Is Disturbing
One of the biggest questions that go unanswered in many Dungeons & Dragons campaigns is why the general populace isn’t more religious when they know that the gods exist?
There are numerous temples and shrines that are dotted throughout the published campaign settings, but the general population doesn’t seem to be particularly religious.
The best you will get out of them is some token lip service whenever they are attempting a task that falls under a certain god’s domain, such as praying to the God of War when they are about to go to battle.
It’s common knowledge that angels, demons, and devils exist and are actively opposing each other on a daily basis. The people also know that the afterlife is real and that purgatory awaits those who aren’t super pious.
The Forgotten Realms has a place known as the Wall of the Faithless in its afterlife, which is essentially a painful version of Limbo for those who chose no patron god. You would think that the existence of such a place would make everyone in the Forgotten Realms a deeply religious person, just to avoid being stuck to a wall for all eternity.
You would think that faith would hold a much bigger role in the story of most Dungeons & Dragons games and video games, yet it seems to always be contained to priests and cultists.
Trading Through Conventional Means Would Be Pointless
It’s expensive to run a business in a medieval society that exists in a Dungeons & Dragons world. It would be dangerous enough to ship goods across the land if you only had bandits to worry about, but the presence of monsters means that you have to hire a lot of guards in order to keep the shipment safe. This is also true when it comes to moving product by boat, as there are plenty of sea monsters out there who are waiting for a chance to sink some ships.
You have to wonder why trading companies still exist in a Dungeons & Dragons world, as a few enterprising mages could make their job redundant.
A single 9th level wizard with a bag of holding could use the teleport spell to ship goods across the world in a matter of moments. This wizard could quickly become incredibly wealthy by charging for their services.
They could travel up to nine-hundred miles per casting of the teleport spell, which they can do several times a day. Their journey would also be a lot safer than shipping goods across land or sea where it could be stolen by monsters.
A group of wizards could create a trade network that would make them the wealthiest people in the world, all for relatively little effort.
Spellcasters Would Control The Means Of Production
The vast majority of video games don’t feel the need to show the main character eating their lunch or going to relieve themselves in the toilet. This is because it adds nothing to the experience and would just be a distraction from the gameplay.
There are several Dungeons & Dragons spells that exist for the purpose of explaining why the characters don’t need to worry about food or water, as it would probably be boring to have to do repeatedly.
The problem with these spells is that they raise the question of why they aren’t used on a daily basis in order to make peoples lives easier.
The goodberry spell is one of the chief offenders in this regard, as it magically empowers several berries so that they are as nourishing as a meal and will retain the enchantment for one day per level. There is also the create food and water spell, which does exactly what you think it would do for several people & animals.
It is also possible to create useful materials using magic, such as the wall of stone spell, which can also be reshaped depending on the user’s needs. They can also take the place of a builder with the use of spells that grant telekinesis or summon large monsters that can do the heavy-lifting for them.
It might make sense for adventuring wizards to scoff at such career opportunities, but what about regular civilians who are looking to use magic to make their life easier?
Humans Can Breed With Everything
Humans can only breed with other humans in real life. There are numerous scientific reasons why we can’t crossbreed with animals in order to create a new species of centaur or Wolfman and we would be here all day if we listed them all.
The creators of Dungeons & Dragons are very much opposed to the idea that humans cannot breed with other species, as there are numerous demihumans and monsters that can impregnate (or be impregnated) by humanity.
The Player’s Handbook offers two examples of human/demihuman breeding, with the Half-Elf and Half-Orc playable races.
This goes to another level of craziness in the sourcebooks, as humans have been able to be fertilized by dragons (while shapeshifted into a compatible form), ogres (who are giant monsters), elementals (who are composed entirely of one of the four classical elements), angels, demons, devils, lycanthrope, fey, minotaurs, and a doppëlganger, to name but the least disgusting examples.
The fact that several of these creatures lack reproductive organs seems to have gone over the heads of the Dungeons & Dragons writers.
How is it possible to be knocked up by a creature that is just a giant pillar of fire? People say you should use protection when getting down to business, but who knew that they were talking about the protection from energy spell.
The Rules Of Inheritance & Resurrection
The laws concerning inheritance were vitally important for a long time. The existence of these laws helped to define who was entitled to inherit lands and properties, in order to prevent conflict between those with a legitimate claim.
Inheritance laws were especially important when it came to determining lines of succession, as they helped to prevent civil wars (though they weren’t always successful).
The presence of these rules meant that there was a clear idea of who should inherit a title after the previous bearer passes away, with princes being prepared to become kings and the sons of wealthy noblemen being groomed to take over the running of estates and lands.
The problem with these institutions existing in a Dungeons & Dragons world is that people don’t have to remain as corpses for long. The magic exists for people to be brought back to life after they have passed away, though the process is usually expensive.
What would happen if a king was slain on the battlefield, his son took the throne, and a local priest decided to cast raise dead and bring the original king back? Would the original king return to his rightful position or would the prince remain as the ruler?
Dragon Milk
There is no denying that Dungeons & Dragons (and tabletop RPGs in general) was a hobby that was perceived as being enjoyed exclusively by men for a long time. It seems that the creators of the game also believed this, especially when you consider the amount of fanservice that was on display in a lot of the illustrations in the books.
This attitude started to change with the third edition of Dungeons & Dragons, as Wizards of the Coast made an effort to make the game more inclusive.
One of the new additions to the 4th edition Player’s Handbook was the Dragonborn, which was a race of lizardlike humanoids who shared a common ancestry with dragons.
The Dragonborn quickly came under fire for their design, as the females of the species were drawn with bosoms, even though they are lizardlike creatures and presumably don’t create milk or suckle their young.
You would think that is the kind of complaint that the creators of Dungeons & Dragons would ignore, but it was directly addressed by the creators of the game on Twitter. The reason female Dragonborn were given bosoms was to help distinguish them from their male counterparts.
However, this feature of female Dragonborn was removed in the fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons.
We Studied Elf At College
There was a time when there were two versions of Dungeons & Dragons that were running at the same time: Advanced Dungeons & Dragons and Dungeons & Dragons Basic. The latter set offered an easier to understand package for new players to get to grips with, though it was eventually phased out in favor of the Advanced rules.
One of the most unusual design choices of the Dungeons & Dragons Basic rules was the rule that different races couldn’t select their class.
In the Dungeons & Dragons Rules Cyclopedia, a human character could choose to be a Cleric, Druid, Fighter, Magic-User, Mystic, or a Thief. An elf character could choose to play as… an elf.
The same was true of dwarves and halflings, who could only choose to play as their own species. These races had no character class except for their own race.
In terms of mechanics, the dwarf was a melee fighter with strong resistance to magic, the elf was a warrior with a limited selection of spells, and the halfling possessed some unique abilities when traveling outdoors.
It was odd that the designers of Dungeons & Dragons Basic decided that three of the classes in their game were literal stereotypes of different fantasy races.
Zombie Minions Are Pretty Pricey
Necromancers are a popular choice of villain in a Dungeons & Dragons campaign, as it is pretty easy to come up with a reason for the players to go on a quest to defeat them.
A necromancer is usually interested in building their army of the deceased and the magical spells that facilitate the creation of said undead are considered to be evil acts unto themselves, so you won’t feel guilty when the time comes to lay the smackdown on them.
The problem that necromancers face is one of fiscal responsibility, as the generic skeletons and zombies that act as their footsoldiers are actually surprisingly expensive to create.
In order to turn a corpse into a skeleton or a zombie in the third edition of Dungeons & Dragons, you need to cast the animate dead spell. The component for this spell is a black onyx gem with a value of 25 gold pieces times the hit dice of the creature being created.
A necromancer would have to spend 100 gold pieces in order to create two skeletons and a zombie, which are considered to be so weak that a first level party would have no trouble facing them. It hardly seems worth all of the trouble of creating an affront to decency and life if it’s going to bankrupt you in the process.
Poison Is Weak
There are a lot of monsters in the Dungeons & Dragons multiverse that possess a dangerous poison that they can create naturally. The players will be fighting these from an early point in their adventure, as giant spiders lurk in all of the dark corners of the world.
The characters who existed in a third edition Dungeons & Dragons campaign didn’t have much to worry from poison damage, as they mostly only dealt temporary damage to the six main stats.
There were a couple of poisons that could deal a lot of points of Constitution damage, which would end the life of a character, but these cost several thousand gold pieces each.
It would be cheaper and more effective to hire a small army of mercenaries to deal with the threat that you were hoping to poison than it would be to pay the 4,500 gold piece cost for some Black Lotus Extract.
It seems that the creators of Dungeons & Dragons learned their lesson, as poison is far more dangerous in the latest edition of the game. If you fail a saving throw against a poison attack, then you will take several extra damage dice depending on the source of the venom.
Lycanthropy Has More Positives Than Negatives
Lycanthropy is a condition that is often used in horror movies, as it is the name of the disease that transforms a person into a werewolf.
Being a werewolf is typically portrayed as a bad thing, as the person loses their identity when they transform and becomes a ravenous beast. The transformation into a werewolf is presented as being painful and it is something that must be endured during every full moon.
It is possible for a character to be infected with lycanthropy in Dungeons & Dragons and it comes highly recommended, as the benefits outweigh the negatives.
Once infected with lycanthropy, the bearer of the disease will transform into an animal during the next full moon. When they become aware of their condition, they can voluntarily transform into their animal or hybrid form, at the cost of their alignment switching to that of their lycanthrope form.
The changing of your alignment isn’t that big of a deal, so long as you allow yourself to be bitten by a werebear (if you are lawful good) or a weretiger/wereboar (if you are neutral) as not all lycanthropes are evil.
In exchange for learning how to control your condition, you gain Damage Reduction, +2 to your Wisdom stat, the Scent ability, Low-Light Vision, a new Hit Dice, the Iron Will feat, and the ability to transform into a more powerful form.
The Removal Of Alignment Restrictions
The concept of character alignment is something that has been controversial with Dungeons & Dragons players for a long time. The idea is that there are nine alignments and you select one for your character that represents their morality and views on life.
The alignments range from Lawful Good, who are the protectors of the innocent and the slayers of evil, to Chaotic Evil, which is something that only the most destructive and vile people would ever claim to be.
Your choice of character alignment used to have an effect within the game, as some character classes were limited by their alignment and acting in a way that didn’t gel with their selected morality meant that you could lose your special abilities.
This meant that Paladins could only ever be Lawful Good, while Druids needed to follow one of the three Neutral alignment paths, which reflected their connection to the uncaring aspect of nature.
The fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons has scrapped the alignment restrictions on character classes, which means that you can have some characters whose chosen field doesn’t match their morality.
This means that you can have Lawful Good assassins and necromancers and Chaotic Evil Paladins without any threat to the character’s abilities.
Magic Should Have Wiped Out Crime
Rogues are an important part of any adventuring party, due to their skills being necessary for dealing with many of the traps and tricks that you will encounter in a dungeon. The sneaky members of the team also specialize in dealing pinpoint strikes that inflict a ton of damage on the enemy.
It seems like each city has its own Thieves Guild with many members specializing in picking pockets, fencing goods, protection rackets, and dealing with dissenting voices with the edge of a blade.
The problem with the existence of organized crime in a Dungeons & Dragons setting is the existence of magic that has the power to determine the culprits behind crimes.
A cleric of one of the justice gods has the power to prevent lies from being spoken (with the zone of truth spell) and can communicate with the victims of violent crimes (with the speak with dead spell) in order to determine the identity of their assailant.
It isn’t just clerics with the power to uncover the truth behind crimes, as arcane spellcasters possess several spells that allow them to read the minds of their enemies. The divination school of magic also offers lots of different methods for finding hidden people and revealing the truth of their actions.
It would be possible for a sufficiently powerful spellcaster to block these efforts, but there are far more profitable ventures available to those with the magical skills necessary for protecting criminals from the wrath of the wizard cops.
Falling From Space Is Easy To Survive
Why waste time hitting your enemy when gravity can do the job for you?
This was the thinking of many mages in the older editions of Dungeons & Dragons. A few unscrupulous players decided that dropping an enemy from a great height would be an excellent way to deal with a lot of foes, as the falling damage would do them in easily.
There were several different methods of accomplishing this, which usually required the use of an aerial movement spell (like levitate or fly) to lift the enemy into the air, or by summoning a flying creature (like an air elemental) to do the deed for you.
The third edition of Dungeons & Dragons decided to curb any potential abuse of the falling rules by imposing a limit on the damage you can take. The most damage you can take from a fall is 20d6, which kicks in at a two-hundred-foot drop.
The problem with this rule is that it’s now pretty easy to survive a fall from orbit. The average damage you will take from 20d6 is sixty points, which is easily survivable for most mid-level melee characters.
This means that an eighth level barbarian can easily walk away from being thrown off a structure that is the same size as Burj Khalifa (the tallest building in the world) even though it is 2,722 feet tall.
The Beautiful Shield
A Dungeons & Dragons character has an armor class score, which is the number you reference every time someone tries to hit them. It’s possible to increase the armor class score by wearing armor, using a shield, having a high Dexterity stat, or using magic to temporarily shield you from harm.
There are also magical items (such as bracers and rings) that can also boost your armor class score.
It makes sense for your Dexterity stat to increase your armor class score, as it reflects your agility and reflexes. This can be restricted by wearing heavy armor, as that provides a hard limit on the bonus provided by your Dexterity modifier.
There is an odd ability that allows certain characters and monsters to add their Charisma modifier to their armor class. This skill is called Unearthly Grace and it belongs to several different fey creatures.
Unearthly Grace doesn’t make any sense, as someone’s physical beauty or force of personality shouldn’t be reflected in how well they can defend themselves. This ability also remains active when the user is being attacked by golems and undead, even though they lack the ability to recognize beauty, no matter how unearthly it is.
Bards Should Rule The World
The different schools of magic can offer incredible power to those who wield their spells, with evocation magic allowing you to fire a burst of flame from your hands, while conjuration allows you to summon giant monsters that are made from solid stone and who will do your bidding without any hesitation.
The most fearsome school of magic is enchantment. This is the school that allows you to dominate the minds of your enemies and ensnare the emotions of your peers.
The school of enchantment gives you access to spells like charm person (makes someone think that you are their best friend), suggestion (the subject will carry out a course of action that you suggest, so long as it sounds reasonable), dominate person (you control the mind of the subject), and modify memory (change the subject’s memories of the past five minutes).
A handful of enchantment spells can allow a lowly mage to control kings and councils from behind the scenes. This is to say nothing of Bards, whose musical ability allows them to use some of the spells listed above for free, so long as they have a lot of points in the Perform skill.
The existence of enchantment spells should give arcane spellcasters the power to take control from the shadows, yet we rarely see evidence of this within a Dungeons & Dragons campaign.
Can you think of any other things about Dungeons & Dragons that don’t make any sense? Sound off in the comments!
