Guy Ritchie’s Snatch was released in 2000 and remains a much-loved crime-comedy even after all these years. Ritchie had already found success with his first movie, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, but this is the one that made Hollywood really take notice.
The movie interweaves various stories about various nefarious characters operating in London’s criminal underworld. There are the struggling box promoters, the ruthless gangster, the deadly Russian, and one very hungry dog. All these stories crash into one another, making for a gritty and hilarious romp with some memorable one-liners. Here are the best quotes from Snatch.
Not as tough as he seems
As Turkish introduces the audience to the story and the main characters with his opening narration in the movie, he explains the origins of his name. He then moves onto his partner and explains that his name isn’t derived from quite as classically tough a source as he pretends that it is.
That’s Tommy. He tells people he was named after a gun. But I know he was really named after a famous 19th-century ballet dancer.
Tommy being inexperienced and softer than he acts is a running theme throughout the movie and this introductory line prepares the audience for that very well while establishing the overall sense of humour very well also.
One tough customer
Boris is a major driving force behind the events in the movie’s story as one of the main players attempting to play various interested parties off of one another in order to acquire the coveted stolen diamond.
Boris the Blade, or Boris the Bullet-Dodger. As bent as the Soviet sickle and as hard as the hammer that crosses it.
As the character’s introduced by Turkish’s narration, he gives the audience this colorful description which sums up the hardened Russian very well all things considered.
Overkill
In the first of several failed plans from the mini gang of Sol, Vinny and Tyrone, the crew attempts to rob a bookies and bring the required ordinance with them.
It’s a f****** anti-aircraft gun, Vincent.
Vinny shows off what he’s got for the job, a large tactical shotgun, prompting Sol to respond with this humorously incredulous line. It’s far more gun than they need and, in the end, it makes little difference to the plan’s success as it ends up in the hands of one of the bookie’s employees anyway.
A killer introduction
Returning from the cast of his previous movie, former footballer turned actor Vinnie Jones plays the formidable Bullet Tooth Tony, a hardened enforcer in the criminal underworld of London who has a reputation similar to Boris’ for being unkillable.
Bonjour!
Tony is introduced in the movie as he’s seen bashing an unknown person’s head in a car door, mirroring a similar moment from the finale of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. When he hears the phone ringing in his car, he stops what he’s doing and leans in to answer with an unexpected “Bonjour!”
Drawing a blank
As a part of another of the movie’s several botched robberies, Sol aquires some replica guns which Vinny is very unimpressed by. (As he should be, considering that Tony sees straight through them when faced by them.)
Oh, in case we have to deafen them to death?
Sol justifies his purchase by saying that he bought extra loud blanks and Vinny responds with this hilarious line.
Dinner Time
Guy Ritchie likes to populate his movies with people who feel authentic, regardless of whether they’re actors or not. Jason Statham was a street hustler before teaming with Ritchie, and Vinnie Jones was a footballer. Some of these non-professional characters pop up in small roles and help make the scenes more memorable.
What’s happening with them sausages, Charlie?
One such part is that of Charlie, someone who apparently works for Turkish (Statham). As Turkish goes about his business, Charlie is off to the side making sausages. But every time Turkish asks about the progress on the foot, Charlie replies “Two minutes, Turkish.” It’s a pointless aside but adds strange humor to the scene.
Self Explanatory
One of the most memorable characters in the films is Boris, the seemingly indestructible Russian thug. Boris is introduced into the story when he is hired to steal a priceless diamond from an American thief. And even in a world filled with dangerous characters, Boris’s reputation makes him very feared.
Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
When Tony (Vinnie Jones) and Avi (Dennis Farina) find out that Boris is the one who has the diamond, Tony is worried and reveals Boris has an ominous nickname, “Boris the Bullet-Dodger”. When Avi asks why he’s called that, Tony simply replies “Because he dodges bullets, Avi.”
Friendly Greeting
The late-great Dennis Farina has an exceptional talent for playing hilariously blunt tough guys. He was frightening and funny all at once, and there was nothing funnier than when he started laying into someone. As Avi, a stressed-out American crime lord, Farina steals many of the scenes.
Shut up and sit down, you big, bald f***.
After learning that his coveted diamond was stolen, he tells his British associate that he’s coming to sort out this mess. After a signature quickly edited sequence, Avi seemingly appears in London and shows right away that he’s not happy about the vacation.
Tyrone The Driver
Yet another storyline in the film follows three low-level criminals who Boris hires to steal the diamond. The trio quickly proves to be useless as outlaws, but that is especially true of their getaway driver, Tyrone. The massive man is clumsy and a bad driver to boot.
I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the f*** can he get away from, eh?
As Tyrone struggles to get himself out of the car, one of the goons points out the obvious, asking why they’ve chosen a getaway driver that is so slow. While poking fun at someone’s weight is never nice, it is a fair question.
Native Language
Some of the funniest moments in Snatch come from Avi’s total disgust and hatred for London. He is a fish out of water and wants nothing more than to finish the job so he can go home.
I thought this country spawned the f****** language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.
As Tony explains the situation to him, Avi becomes frustrated with the British slang. He complains, “I thought this country spawned the f****** language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.” It’s another funny moment of Avi’s rage as well as a nod to those American critics who have a hard time understanding the dialogue in Ritchie’s films.
Lesson In Pigs
There are a lot of violent people in Snatch, but the scariest is most likely Brick Top. The ruthless gangster hires Turkish to set up a boxing match for him and ensure that Turkish’s fighter goes down during the fight. Brick Top has a nasty reputation and Turkish knows he’s not a man he wants to cross.
Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig.”
When Brick Top hunts down the thugs responsible for robbing his bookie office, he shows how terrifying he can be. In a very calm manner, he explains to the men that the best way to dispose of a body is to feed them to pigs, as pigs will eat anything. By the time his lesson is over, the men know what kind of danger they are in.
Gun Sale
Along with being an unstoppable thug, Boris is also an arms dealer, selling guns to a number of key characters in the movie. However, he is maybe not the most trustworthy salesman, as his guns seem to have a tendency of not working at all.
Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn’t work, you can always hit them with it.
One of Boris’ duped customers is Tommy. Wanting to be seen as tough, Tommy is willing to buy the biggest gun, even if Boris’ sales pitch isn’t the most convincing. While a heavy gun might have advantages, using it to hit someone probably means things didn’t go as planned.
Crystal Clear
The success of Lock, Stock meant that Ritchie was able to secure some bigger names for his second feature. Certainly, the biggest name in the cast is Brad Pitt, who plays the supporting role of Mickey, a tough-as-nails bare-knuckle boxer.
Have I made myself clear, boys?
In a hilarious use of the superstar actor, Mickey’s thick accents and quick-style of talking make it impossible to understand what he’s saying. The gimmick is used to great comedic effect, such as when Mickey goes on a long rant about his demands to Turkish only for Turkish to be totally lost by what he just said.
Prepare For Anything
The majority of the characters in Snatch are tough guys who can deal with the very violent world they find themselves in. But Tommy is an outlier in that sense. As Turkish’s right-hand man, Tommy is the kind of guy who likes to act tough to cover up for his fear.
Protection from what? “Zee Germans?”
Tommy gets a hard time from everyone in the films, especially Turkish. When he shows up with a brand new gun in his trousers, Turkish is quick to poke fun at his attempts to be a gangster. It’s a small moment, but Turkish continues to tease Tommy with “zee German” remarks later in the film.
Open Up
The character that seems to cause the most mayhem in the movie is the dog. Given to the thug Vinnie by Mickey’s crew, the dog proves to be a menace, eating and chewing anything or anyone in sight. When Avi and Tony track the missing diamond to Vinny and his friends, they begin to suspect the dog must have eaten the missing diamond.
What do you mean “look in the dog?”
Avi, obviously not a dog lover, tells Tony to “look in the dog” and “open him up.” Tony might be a killer, but even that is a little too much for him. Shocked, he points out, “It’s not as if it’s a tin of baked beans!” Luckily, the dog manages to escape.
